27 July 2012

Lovechild



Call me a mishap or a fatherless mongrel, we're all the same and equal sinners.
We've floated in our mother's womb alike and woken up to the same freaking world.
It is only a matter of perspective, not fate, I believe.
You and I are twins, on the other sides of the mirror.

Each of us remain, holding the same pinwheel in our hand. The one that's called life.
Then why do you believe you have the hues and me the monotones?
Notice when it circles with the wind, they are all white and all the same.

Take moment and think. While you maybe not, I am still a lovechild.

(Saved from another one of my blogs)

10 July 2012

What is life without drinks and drama and scandals and ideals and fights and dissatisfactions? Would we be entirely happy if there was no "sad". Would we like to love if there was no pain? Does it matter where we are going? Could we love two people at one time? Why is "wrong" so bad and "right" always good? Why doesn't all lands belong to every man? When will things change? Will they ever change?

19 May 2012

Living alone....aaah! Can't open a bottle of pickle :(

02 May 2012

Ladies, come out of the closet.

It is true that there are very few female filmmakers around the world. And if I was capable enough to conduct a research on "why" I would. But since I am not qualified enough for that I would just like to evaluate the possibilities of changing this.

Observations from film school:
1. Men don't discuss camera and technical aspects with women. At least not to the same extent as they do with male colleagues and neither with equal joy and exuberance.
2. Men would never trust a female DP.
3. There is ONE female DP in my entire class.
4. Men prioritize crewing for each others' projects.
5. Men collaborate with male colleagues and  "help" female colleagues.
6. Men respect female writers, men can't imagine to acknowledge a superior female director.
7. There are fewer female faculty members in Directing.
8. Men don't discuss the filmmaking potential of their female colleagues. Women always discuss the inspiring male filmmakers.
8. Men understand film equipment better. Period.

It is not a question of whether this is conscious or unconscious, on the part of the male filmmakers but it is what it is. Things have been like that for ages. It's a thought process, it's a way of life. But at some point, this has to change. And as women we have to stand up to break out of this pattern.

We need to give each other more credit for our accomplishments and less jealous criticism. We have to encourage and support other female filmmakers. It does not matter what is the caliber of filmmaking, the point is that we need a stronger female voice and that can only be achieved if more and more women come out of the closet and feel determined to express themselves in front of the world as filmmakers. We need to engage in constructive criticism, and work towards improvement. We have to be conscious in not shying away from expressing ourselves. We have to make a conscious effort to be there for each other, as artists, as friends, as competitors and begin a solid camaraderie which for some strange reason seems to be missing.

11 April 2012

We will be great someday. Just not today.

There comes a time when we push past all the pettiness and try to achieve a state of calm. Except, when we are twenty something, being childish is the unconscious norm. We are struggling, we are fighting, living in a constant state of heady unrest. Loving it, hating it, dissatisfied with absolutely everything that is not "us". Selfish as hell, directionless and charging onto the goal of what we believe is "greatness". Nothing less would do for us. We're a bunch of thirsty predators. Love, hurt, games and politics, we are machiavelli's children. We're  blind, we're stubborn. We are trying to be great, we're dying to be great. What sets us apart is the abysmal desire within.

And if we can wriggle out of this bubble we live in, maybe one day we will be great. For now, we shall just remain a bunch of twenty somethings.

24 March 2012

The giant gorge between ACT I and ACT II

The fear of the unknown is deeply inherent in all of us. ACT I was wonderful. It was clear, precise and a whole lot of fun. But suddenly everything has come to a standstill. ACT II is staring at me, in the face but there is a giant gorge between my last mark on ACT I and the other side/ACT II.

Chances are:
A. I may never get to the other side.
B. I may try but fall into the dark abyss.
C. Or make that one giant leap and get across.

The decision shall be made in exactly 10 mins (hopefully).
I set 2pm as my deadline.

10 March 2012

How to stay happy, not drink and kill yourself?

Google can try but not make you happy. But at least Google tries.
Warm drinks versus cold ones. Cold, bitter ones. Bitter-sweet ones.
Alienating love from sex, sex from love...sense and sensibility from both.
Stuffing your face with food won't help. What would?
Yoga would not. A night out is temporary relief.
We're all on the edge, we may pop, we may drop.
Spill over and that's the end.
So the question still remains...how to stay happy, not drink and kill yourself.